The Vital Essence retreat experience is all that I had envisaged and more. I have been to the mountain eco-lodge 3 times already in the last couple of weeks and am going back there again tomorrow. It's about a 2 & 1/2 hr trip to get there each time but so beautiful it's worth the travel. The first time I went was with staff doing strategic planning for the vision for the school over the next decade. The second time was with students & other foreign visitors as a participant of the Nuestra Escuela Vital Essence Retreat. The last time was as part of the support team to help look after a new student group. And I will do the the same again this weekend. The 3 day, series of healing & bonding processes for new students is limited to around 25 participants each time and because Caguas has so many students wanting to enroll this semester they are running 3 Vital Essence retreats to cater for them all, one after the other. This was preceded by a 3 day retreat for students from another of the other Nuestra Escuela centres, & will be followed by one for Vieques, a small island on which there is another of the school's 5 centres. I hope to support at that retreat too as I intend to visit them at their centre later and also as many of the other Nuestra Escuela centres in Puerto Rico as I can while I am here. The dedication & commitment of the entire team is incredible. The retreats are full on and intense. Starting the new day at 7 in the morning & going through till past 1 a.m after the first full day & till 4 a.m the next!! The transformation during this time is amazing, from a group of strangers & individuals to a close knit family displaying respect & caring for each other. The intention of the retreat is not to 'change' students but to support them in their self reflection about how they are perceived to be & who they really are & want to be. I was curious from the preliminary meetings at the school about the strict code of compliance for the retreat which participants were meticulously & repeatedly taken through, & which I had initially perceived as being imposed. I could imagine students not only resisting but refusing to comply with certain aspects of the contract..especially relinquishing cellphones & even watches for the duration. No violence, no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no swearing, no sexual behaviour, no opting out of activities, no putting down of others..as well as showing consideration & respect for everyone at all times, going to bed & getting up when told to, limiting showers to a few minutes only, putting loo paper in the waste bin not the loo, so as not to overload the septic system, and keeping all areas tidy. Prior to to the retreat, participants meet at the school and are given a written outline of the conduct expectations for the retreat & asked to agree to them verbally there as well as sign a conduct contract. They are taken through the expectations again as a group at the retreat, and asked to swear to comply in front of the group and sign the group chart version. Some of these participants would be considered 'tough' kids who would have no hesitation in telling an authority where to stick their rules so I was intrigued at how willingly & without fuss they all did it..and the difference was simple..they weren't being made to do it..they wanted to! Firstly, they weren't being made to enroll in this school..they wanted to because they heard about it from someone whose opinion they respected. Secondly, the Vital Essence retreat is pre-requisite for entering Nuestra Escuela & an opportunity for the potential student to find out what the school is about & decide whether he or she wants to part of it. And thirdly, because Nuestra Escuela is considered a family, where a persons word is their honour, it is important for each family members own sense of integrity to know that they can give their word & stick to it, & complying with this code of conduct at the retreat gives them the opportunity to prove it to themselves. So each day, as they have kept their word & complied their integrity is acknowledged. Everyone who comes arrives with "baggage", as a result of past problems & emotional pain, but instead of being told to leave it at the gate, to put it in writing, or that it is their issue, in the past & they should just get over it, they are encouraged to talk about it & share what happened, but more-so talk about why they acted or reacted the way they did. The WHY is what is important, not the what. The reason is to understand the person, not to judge their actions. These 'kids,' varying in age from 12 to early 20s, have been labeled as dropouts, truants, troublemakers etc, many involved in violence, drugs or crime. And although the individual stories vary there is a common family theme of feeling abandoned (usually by an absent father), and a common education theme of feeling not valued & not heard, and of having rebelled against being dis-empowered & misunderstood. What most participants say they want to get from their retreat experience is friendship, trust & a sense of family. Certainly every activity is designed to allow for these things to develop, so it is no surprise that all participants leave feeling loved, safe & connected. There is a large support team made up of school social workers, teaching staff, past & present students & others who go beyond the call of duty to ensure that every participant is supported, accepted & respected. Whilst some of the support team change over so as to have a break ocasionally & not necessarily involved in every activity or present at every retreat, Justo & Ana Yris are there for every retreat and make a point of learning & using every single persons name within the first hour of working with them. I made an effort to learn all the students names this last time too & found that in doing so & by studying each person's face & really focusing on each of them as they spoke, got an enhanced understanding of who they are. As I am becoming more familiar with the processes I am able to more easily follow what is going on without need for translation or explanation. A lot of what the students share of their personal journeys and traumatic experiences I haven't been able to pick up on but emotion is universal regardless of language. Just being able to place your hand on someones back, between their shoulder blades so that they can feel your support is a powerful gesture of love, and for them in return to want to share a hug, a gesture of acceptance & trust. It is a liberating experience for both students & staff to be able to openly display care & affection and freely hug each other whenever the need or the will is there. The students are given several opportunities to practise & become more comfortable with this, particular the guys who may arrive with macho attitudes. Justo talks to them about the difference between being macho and being men, and also in being gentlemen. The range of emotions experienced within those few days reminds me of a Maori tangihanga whereby acute sadness is anticipated and people rally to support those going through grief & to help lift their spirits with a celebration at the end. During the celebration part of the programme I thought of my kids' birthdays as they were growing up, when I would stay up all night to plan & prepare their party in order to make their day as memorable as I could for them, attending to every little detail so that they would feel special, happy & loved. The importance & effectiveness of those little details in humbling oneself to honour others is not overlooked within the Vital Essence programme. Symbolised with a candle, offered on bended knee. By the early hours of the morning on the last night participants have had to climb some pretty treacherous mountains emotionally and dig deep to forgive people who have caused them tremendous pain, not to excuse the perpetrator but to liberate the sufferer..tears & sobbing often come with such a profound release...but by this stage one feels completely comfortable & supported to do so.. within the group there is no fear of being judged or ridiculed, no longer the distinction of me versus you or us versus them..just a sense of we together are a caring family...our family includes our school..and literally translated, Our School is Nuestra Escuela.
I am so grateful now for the traumatic period I experienced this year, through the disloyalty of my partner in not standing by me & the betrayal by people who had known me for years who went against me behind my back.. because the pain & suffering that that caused me propelled me to go in search of something different. I am grateful too for the love & support by so many friends & whanau who have encouraged me & helped me to make this journey. What I have found here isn't new, but for me revived..and thats "hope". The kind of education system I have dreamed of.... it is possible, it does exist & it is worth fighting for.
Arohanui
Abrazos y bejos
Taan :-) x
I am so grateful now for the traumatic period I experienced this year, through the disloyalty of my partner in not standing by me & the betrayal by people who had known me for years who went against me behind my back.. because the pain & suffering that that caused me propelled me to go in search of something different. I am grateful too for the love & support by so many friends & whanau who have encouraged me & helped me to make this journey. What I have found here isn't new, but for me revived..and thats "hope". The kind of education system I have dreamed of.... it is possible, it does exist & it is worth fighting for.
Arohanui
Abrazos y bejos
Taan :-) x